I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song