I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking