Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (610)

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  I hope my margaritas pass through security.

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  (610): I hope my margaritas pass through security. http://tfl.nu/1pwp
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  We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha

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  (610): We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha http://tfl.nu/f3qb
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  I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness

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  (610): I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness http://tfl.nu/gzkv
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  fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.

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  (610): fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night. http://tfl.nu/e9ib
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  Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?

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  (610): Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil? http://tfl.nu/j8sh
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  first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.

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  (610): first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/lsrh
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  walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant

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  he should get drunk with us

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  (610): walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant (1-610): he should get drunk with us http://tfl.nu/datt
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  Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on

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  Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.

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  (610): Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on (484): Who said I was judging? More like congratulating. http://tfl.nu/coiy
  Replies (10) Good night (1889) Bad night (372)
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  She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out

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  (610): She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out http://tfl.nu/xh8n
  Replies (2) Good night (1164) Bad night (372)
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  the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.

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  did she buy you pizza?

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  (610): the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around. (215): did she buy you pizza? http://tfl.nu/k5jd
  Replies (9) Good night (1868) Bad night (364)
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  please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.

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  (610): please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am. http://tfl.nu/6top
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  its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.

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  (610): its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate. http://tfl.nu/xmo4
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  90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.

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  (610): 90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you. http://tfl.nu/qiqv
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  What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?

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  Which ones?

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  (484): What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips? (610): Which ones? http://tfl.nu/2pkr
  Replies (20) Good night (2574) Bad night (336)
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  the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome

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  (610): the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome http://tfl.nu/8iag
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