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I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
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