She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
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I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
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His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk