There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.