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i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
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