Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.