We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
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If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
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Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.