Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
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