Whatcha textin bout Willis?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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