oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
