I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.