A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??