I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.