he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.