well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around