He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.