I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!