Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Maryland (240)

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.

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  (240): I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber. http://tfl.nu/iuw9
  Replies (4) Good night (487) Bad night (198) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.

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  (240): I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos. http://tfl.nu/cwl9
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  The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!

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  (240): The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different! http://tfl.nu/rsm4
  Replies (5) Good night (1020) Bad night (302) Order T-Shirt
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  All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again

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  (240): All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again http://tfl.nu/54xi
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  If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters

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  (240): If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters http://tfl.nu/bqf1
  Replies (7) Good night (965) Bad night (280) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?

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  I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on

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  (240): Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister? (863): I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on http://tfl.nu/xj2m
  Replies (2) Good night (416) Bad night (1227)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday

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  (240): ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday http://tfl.nu/ci9y
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  Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef

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  Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!

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  That is the exact response I was looking for.

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  (202): Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef (240): Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst! (202): That is the exact response I was looking for. http://tfl.nu/qkl0
  Replies (7) Good night (1405) Bad night (295)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP

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  (240): Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP http://tfl.nu/rq2g
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  I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.

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  (240): I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep. http://tfl.nu/5qdv
  Replies (7) Good night (725) Bad night (249) Order T-Shirt
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  Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.

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  (240): Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone. http://tfl.nu/49no
  Replies (6) Good night (287) Bad night (816) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence

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  (240): i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence http://tfl.nu/n478
  Replies (2) Good night (1193) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
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  I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.

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  (240): I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first. http://tfl.nu/kk3c
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  the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?

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  (240): the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!? http://tfl.nu/muuy
  Replies (14) Good night (428) Bad night (1018)
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  i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys

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  (240): i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys http://tfl.nu/z1wp
  Replies (3) Good night (393) Bad night (812)