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I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
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