so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of