Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
another moral hangover. fuck.
so that wasnt chicken after all