I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich