Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.