Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Minnesota (612)

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.

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  (612): Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys. http://tfl.nu/5hlm
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  I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself

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  (612): I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself http://tfl.nu/0tce
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  When are you freeeeeeeeee?

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.

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  (612): When are you freeeeeeeeee? (612): My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome. http://tfl.nu/b5yi
  Replies (8) Good night (4680) Bad night (1066)
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  so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..

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  god i miss watching you do this...

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  (612): so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim.. (507): god i miss watching you do this... http://tfl.nu/jwsv
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  I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!

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  (612): I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER! http://tfl.nu/epkg
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  Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.

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  (612): Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too. http://tfl.nu/msn4
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  One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  That burning is chlamydia

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  (612): One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence (202): That burning is chlamydia http://tfl.nu/w9ru
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  he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?

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  (612): he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper (952): Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it? http://tfl.nu/ydx5
  Replies (9) Good night (744) Bad night (3707)
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  I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to

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  (612): I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to http://tfl.nu/s30p
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  Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out

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  (612): Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out http://tfl.nu/cyb8
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  at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them

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  (612): at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them http://tfl.nu/fxji
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  Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg

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  (612): Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg http://tfl.nu/5ras
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  So do you want to come over? ;)

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.

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  (612): So do you want to come over? ;) (763): Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/m0zn
  Replies (44) Good night (1082) Bad night (6733)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.

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  (612): I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out. http://tfl.nu/8phs
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.

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  (612): I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin. http://tfl.nu/g2gc
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