Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
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These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.