Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Can I ask u a weird question?
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Plural? Please tell.
I want to make a zoo with you.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She's JV to your varsity