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ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
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