yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?