Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
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after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
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So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.