Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
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after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
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So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.