I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
