Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Missouri (816)

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?

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  (816): We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right? http://tfl.nu/k62y
  Replies (3) Good night (1508) Bad night (341) Order T-Shirt
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  TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.

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  (816): TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true. http://tfl.nu/3n2b
  Replies (13) Good night (2149) Bad night (339) Order T-Shirt
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  It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.

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  (816): It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain. http://tfl.nu/o28o
  Replies (1) Good night (1049) Bad night (339) Order T-Shirt
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  You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"

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  (816): You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?" http://tfl.nu/o1ln
  Replies (10) Good night (1419) Bad night (330)
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  We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.

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  (816): We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly. http://tfl.nu/0x8b
  Replies (6) Good night (1749) Bad night (329) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.

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  (816): I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins. http://tfl.nu/76g5
  Replies (8) Good night (2715) Bad night (325) Order T-Shirt
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  I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.

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  (816): I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey. http://tfl.nu/ef3v
  Replies (3) Good night (1378) Bad night (324) Order T-Shirt
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  I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants

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  (816): I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants http://tfl.nu/4wl5
  Replies (40) Good night (4243) Bad night (320) Order T-Shirt
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  I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.

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  (816): I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery. http://tfl.nu/2bt2
  Replies (1) Good night (652) Bad night (317) Order T-Shirt
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  I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.

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  (816): I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before. http://tfl.nu/94fr
  Replies (6) Good night (1245) Bad night (305) Order T-Shirt
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  Are you guys doing anything tonight?

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Krysta

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  (816): Are you guys doing anything tonight? (859): Krysta http://tfl.nu/28qy
  Replies (9) Good night (1725) Bad night (297)
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  i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  i think im in thre room next to you

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  (913): i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me. (816): i think im in thre room next to you http://tfl.nu/b5hq
  Replies (28) Good night (1716) Bad night (295)
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  I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots

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  (816): I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots http://tfl.nu/14wj
  Replies (5) Good night (1236) Bad night (294) Order T-Shirt
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  In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance

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  (816): In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance http://tfl.nu/nm0w
  Replies (5) Good night (1133) Bad night (279) Order T-Shirt
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  Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check

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  (816): Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check http://tfl.nu/m7vz
  Replies (8) Good night (1248) Bad night (223) Order T-Shirt