So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.