Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us