Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.