Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (810)

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Last Night in Michigan (810)

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(810): View more from Michigan

I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.

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(810): View more from Michigan

I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.

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(810): View more from Michigan

ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.

(810): View more from Michigan

We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.

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(810): View more from Michigan

I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.

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(810): View more from Michigan

He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!

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(810): View more from Michigan

He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.

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