Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (773)

Last Night in Illinois (773)

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(773): View more from Illinois

I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.

(847): View more from Illinois

Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.

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(773): I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant. (847): Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you. http://tfl.nu/48mv

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You're such a slut.

(318): View more from Louisiana

I prefer opportunist.

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(773): You're such a slut. (318): I prefer opportunist. http://tfl.nu/49c1

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Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me

(847): View more from Illinois

No promises.

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(773): Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me (847): No promises. http://tfl.nu/emuw

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It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.

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(773): It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out. http://tfl.nu/p4fr

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Just got to costco. Where are you?

(602): View more from Arizona

Liquor aisle, bring another cart.

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(773): Just got to costco. Where are you? (602): Liquor aisle, bring another cart. http://tfl.nu/c1j1

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They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan

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(773): They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan http://tfl.nu/hlq0

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She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".

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(773): She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy". http://tfl.nu/lu2f

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I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.

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(773): I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out. http://tfl.nu/l8yc

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legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup

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(773): legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup http://tfl.nu/hm49

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somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students

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(773): somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students http://tfl.nu/zxwh

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omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...

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(773): omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this... http://tfl.nu/ilg0

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I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it

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(773): I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it http://tfl.nu/9cts

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not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.

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(773): not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know. http://tfl.nu/n0su

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im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me

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(773): im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me http://tfl.nu/r5gz

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i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck

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(773): i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck http://tfl.nu/4030

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Last Night in Illinois (773)

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