Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw