I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude, that was like bongs ago.