I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
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I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
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i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still