Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (408)

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  I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.

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  (408): I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up. http://tfl.nu/jlt9
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  Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?

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  (408): Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens? http://tfl.nu/6bgt
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  i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still

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  (408): i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still http://tfl.nu/f9lt
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  I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.

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  (408): I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility. http://tfl.nu/5lhi
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  In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals

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  (408): In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals http://tfl.nu/45rk
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  You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."

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  (408): You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom." http://tfl.nu/ayfd
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  if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt

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  (408): if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt http://tfl.nu/goj5
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  We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.

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  (408): We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell. http://tfl.nu/gwk2
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  look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.

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  eating on the run again ?

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  (408): look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags. (1-408): eating on the run again ? http://tfl.nu/uddy
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  We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar

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  (408): We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar http://tfl.nu/h9fi
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  I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day

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  Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry

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  (707): I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day (408): Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry http://tfl.nu/3wks
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  IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY

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  (408): IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY http://tfl.nu/k5od
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  Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.

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  (408): Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher. http://tfl.nu/o3bs
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  Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain

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  (408): Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain http://tfl.nu/bezg
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  We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!

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  (408): We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?! http://tfl.nu/o08x
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