She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
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If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
make that 40.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
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I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner