I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
pop tarts are not kleenex
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10