we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
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The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
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This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?