It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.