Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Washington (253)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board. http://tfl.nu/lkp6
  Replies (5) Good night (502) Bad night (1298)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  My mind says no, but my body says yes.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  What does your body say about chlamydia?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): My mind says no, but my body says yes. (703): What does your body say about chlamydia? http://tfl.nu/53wo
  Replies (17) Good night (499) Bad night (2898)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing? http://tfl.nu/rrvx
  Replies (5) Good night (494) Bad night (2577) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina. http://tfl.nu/kt7p
  Replies (10) Good night (484) Bad night (850) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool http://tfl.nu/jdq1
  Replies (5) Good night (461) Bad night (2563) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby. http://tfl.nu/swwk
  Replies (12) Good night (459) Bad night (2015) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?! http://tfl.nu/f0hc
  Replies (12) Good night (459) Bad night (1498) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know. http://tfl.nu/n76e
  Replies (6) Good night (457) Bad night (1200) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting. http://tfl.nu/k4ds
  Replies (2) Good night (455) Bad night (223) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers. http://tfl.nu/t7fg
  Replies (6) Good night (439) Bad night (1023) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight. http://tfl.nu/dlgc
  Replies (2) Good night (406) Bad night (167) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some. http://tfl.nu/g1u1
  Replies (9) Good night (392) Bad night (1385) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child. http://tfl.nu/jtoq
  Replies (3) Good night (292) Bad night (914) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk http://tfl.nu/8gkz
  Replies (2) Good night (188) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat. http://tfl.nu/66de
  Replies (2) Good night (149) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt