Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
the sex got boring after the first three hours
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them