so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
You came to the right person.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.