i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like