It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
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I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.