I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way