Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.