I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.