Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.