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I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
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