What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.