What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If You’re One of These 12 Restaurant Customers, Your Server is Definitely Spitting in Your Food
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Good Food, Cheap Beer, and Hot Singles: the Top 13 Cities for Millennials