I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple