I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks