She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox