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bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
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